Dyson

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Dyson has won the comedy award for, “Best at not winning the award in that town where they invent awards simply to award themselves as award givers and justify their name which invariably includes an animal or simply crowbars two pointless phases together”. He’s won that ten years in a row and has only been going for about two. So that’s an achievement.

He has also so far avoided spontaneous combustion despite being comprised  mostly of undirected and pointless anger at things which in no way further the evolution of humanity.

He often skim reads books by Noam Chomsky to feel clever  but then spends hours ranting about how Florence and the Machine are the greatest threat to global stability. He is also addicted to a tv programme which involves flabby Canadian men flying planes full of baked beans across Alaska.

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